Goals & Comparison.

Comparison.

Everyone makes them.

You make them.
I make them.
We all do.

Whatever it is, our paths, hobbies, clothes, education, dreams, looks. Everything.

These comparisons are the barriers that stops us from achieving the best, from becoming the best versions of ourselves.

It isn’t about our “incapability” to learn or to become the most smartest, prettiest, bravest etc that is demotivating us from achieving all these adjectives we yearn for.

Its not because we’re dumb.

Its not because we’re not like “him”, “her” or “them”. No.

Tbh, we could be on our way of achieving our goals and it doesn’t matter what speed or stage we’re on, we are ALL on our way.  However, the only thing that could slow our speed or worse yet, STOP our speed is the comparisons we make. Unnecessary ones. Truthfully, I think it’s toxic.

A genius could automatically feel like the dumbest person alive the moment he starts comparing himself with other people. Thats what comparison can do. The only thing you should be comparing yourself with is the old version of yourself. To make you realize what a better person you are now.

It’s hard to avoid them, I know. Our mind is powerful, but we are in control.People tend to say and preach the phrase “mind over body”. I get it, but it’s us OVER our mind THEN, its our mind over body.

Every now and then I make irrational comparisons which I think is really stupid because all its going to do is just put me off so low down to the ground, rock bottom, when in fact I should be grateful for everything, especially with where I’m at in my life.

My journey shouldn’t be compared to anyone else’s. I am proud to do the one thing I’m lucky enough to do, studying Psychology and pursuing my goals of becoming a Clinical Psychologist. So why the hell am I constantly going back and forth making unnecessary comparisons to others who may in fact wish to be where I’m at?

Its the mind. 

We crave so much to be on the same level as everyone else and we live a life not knowing what is enough and slowly become blind by the Almighty’s gifts for us.

His blessings upon us comes in different forms – a housewife could be comparing herself with other people’s achievements due to the boredom and loneliness she’s been feeling at home, yet her blessings that others lust for are right in front of her eyes – a loving family, and her beautiful children.

We need to look closely of how blessed we are and not wait for something precious to be taken away from us only to realize we had something to be grateful for.

So you reading this, I am proud of you. Whatever your path it, I swear. I am proud of you. You do you. Your stage of where youre at is exactly where you’re supposed to be. If it isn’t, He will alter it for you to make sure whatever it is suits you best, whatever that path is.

Having a goal is important. It keeps you on track and it makes you know why you’re where you’re at. It gives your life a meaning, a purpose so you know you’re not wasting your time even if you’re going according to your own pace, fast or slow, you need a goal.

Think of your preferred life-style.

How can you tell someone you dream to travel around the world yet you’re not doing anything about it? How can you tell someone you want to be rich yet you refuse to study?

Honestly, think of your preferred life-style and set a goal. We all need one. You can pray for a good life all you want but the effort needs to come from you.

Remember what my dad said? Du’a, Usaha, Tawakkal.

If you ask me what keeps me going and happy, it is my reminder of what my goal is.

My goals, ladies and gentlemen is to have stability in all aspects of my life — family, house, kids & travel. I want to be able to donate money without worrying so much on not having enough money left. Nya orang brunei, bekira. This stability in all aspects of my life, I mean ALL aspects is what I strive for. These are the reasons why I am busting my butt off not just to pass, but to achieve the best of the best. This is why I am where I am now.

Most importantly, know the difference between a hobby and an occupation. I love to play piano but no, I wouldn’t dream to be a pianist. It isn’t enough to match with my preferred life-style that I hope for. Piano along with drawing, baking and embroidery are just my hobbies. My hobby stays as a hobby, a side entertainment and interest to boost up my skills, artistic passion and relaxation. Psychology is my chosen career, one of the key elements that holds my goal at reach.

Alhamdulillah, Psychology is something I’m truly passionate in and to be able to strongly invest a lot of effort and time learning more and more about it in order to build my future is just something I am blessed with alongside of a supporting family and friends that I have around me, syukur Alhamdulillah.

I usually surround myself with people who will always, always be a good influence on me. People who motivates me and in return, I will do the same for them. When you find the right people, you are each other’s backbones. I’ve filled mine with good people and I get high on intellectual conversations with others. Their passion amazes me every time. Shoutout to all of them, you know who you are.

I am not bragging TRUST ME, I just want to emphasize how important having a goal is. How important education is. Tough love from my parents truly worked on me and my siblings.

You know what could potentially ruin that goal you have just for yourself?
MAKING COMPARISON.

Imagine having all these nice goals to become the best singer but you start to make comparisons with other people and just like that, your self esteem decreases. Thats tough.

SO that brings me to my final point – the first goal is to stop comparing and then AND ONLY then, can you properly achieve your goals in life with ease because well, it’s only you VS you. No one else.

On top of all that, surround yourself with good people with genuine hearts and beautiful minds. They’ll have their best interest in you.

Realistically speaking, you will fall along the way. Mistakes, they happen. But that doesn’t mean you have to look at yourself as a failure. You falling is a reminder that you’re already so high up, already on your way of achieving that goal. Usaha atu nampak. Maybe you just need to slow down a bit, take a step back or most probably find a different solution. That’s completely okay.

Make sure to take care of your well-being when you’re striving for your goals.

Remember, you don’t really have to be the smartest in your field, sometimes its the du’a du’a from your loved ones that helps so that He can make whatever it is you’re doing, easier for you.

I’m hopeful that 2019 will be a clearer and brighter year for you. All the best, everyone!

X,
Syidah